Why the law of attraction might feel like it's not working for you...

When I began working with the law of attraction (LOA) a few years ago I was in a pretty crappy place. I was exhausted, unhappy and anxious and although I did not know it at the time, I was going through the first part of a huge spiritual awakening that was to be my journey for the next 5 years or so (still ongoing!), which saw me train as an advanced practitioner in flower and vibrational essences and now, as a holistic councillor. I loved the promise of the LOA, the idea that if I just asked and focused enough with clear intentions and vision boards and positive thinking that I could manifest my heart's desires. I still get emails dropping into my inbox today about vision boarding courses and manistestation seminars, promising me the world, but the truth be told, after a number years of trying these things, the stuff that was pictured on my board and written in my manifesting journal were not showing up. Where was my house by the sea, my 6-figure business, the all pervading sense of bliss, joy and happiness I was promised. I was kind of left thinking, "well this seems great for everyone else, but why is it not really working for me?". Can you relate?

The truth was that although I was making some huge shifts in some areas, mainly down to much of the other work I was doing spiritually and with flower essences (my anxiety became more and more manageable, I got calmer and more peaceful, my relationships became easier, I experienced massive heart openings, the blossoming of deep love and compassion and feelings of connection, my energy system and my body began a deep healing process), the LOA and those heart's desires remained tantilisingly out of reach. I started to feel that there was something I was doing wrong, even though I was following all of the instructions. Yet, as a spiritual adventurer (and a Sagittarian to boot) I was just not capable of not exploring and expanding and so I carried on, little step by little step. Things did start to change, I manifested some stuff, but it was sloooooow.

I still remember the day that I read the words that changed everything. It was a chilly autumnal day, much like today and I was snuggled up by the fire reading a book by Richard Rudd, one of my favourite writers. In his book, Love: A guide to your Venus Sequence, He writes:

"In recent years there has been much talk in esoteric circles about harnessing the attractor field that surrounds humans. Much of this information is geared toward the manifestation of

one's wishes on the material plane... (yet) it is unlikely that we humans really know what is good for us in the first place! What you do learn... is that in life you always get exactly what you need when you need it. The secret is not about asking for something in the future - it is about mining the full depth and splendour of what you already have in the present."

Rudd goes on to describe how you will always attract towards you a reflection of whatever is in your attractor field. You might also describe this as your energy field, your aura, or your vibration. As a woman who works deeply with the physical body, I would also add that whatever is stored in there at a cellular level is going to have a huge effect too. The truth of this struck me at a very deep level and I realised a number of things:

1) The LOA is absolutely working for us all, all of the time, there is nothing wrong with you or the universe.

2) You are always getting what you are asking for but this is on the energetic rather than the conscious


3) What you are energetically and subconsciously attracting, might be quite different to what you are

actually consciously asking for.

4) The key to finding what we desire is not in escaping the present moment, it is in sinking deeply

into it and mining it for the gold.

So, this means for example, that you might be wanting and asking for your most aligned and deeply loving intimate partner to manisfest in your life, yet if you are running some old programmes, trauma patterning, emotional blocks and even old soul contracts and karma around relationships, for example fear of abandonment, this is not what you are going to be getting. The LOA does dot respond to what you think, contrary to what most LOA teachers will tell you, your thoughts have almost no effect at all because the LOA is responding to your energy. Even your thoughts arise out of what is going on for you at the energetic level, usually below the level of your consciousness. This means that for most of us, most of the time, we are creating and manifesting from deep beneath our conscious minds because we send out an energetic signal long before it ever arises on the thought plane. To illustrate this, I like the allegory of an iceberg.

As you can see, although you will be manifesting from the conscious level to some degree, what is below the surface is far bigger, more powerful and influential. Unfortunately you can't acually see what's in there. Adding more intentions and vision boards when you have a lot of energetic blocks and trauma stuck at the subconscious level is a little bit like just shouting louder at a rock concert. You might get a few things heard but it doesn't accomplish very much and you mostly end up tired and with a sore throat! The key is to release the patterning below the surface so that the subconscious and the conscious level can come more into alignment and start saying the same thing. When I talk about alignment (which I do a lot!), this is essentially what I mean; getting your conscious and your subconscious talking to each other AND singing from the same hymsheet. The greater the extent to which you can do this, the more your conscious wants begin showing up in your experience.

To understand more deeply how this works, lets go back to the example of calling in your most aligned, loving, intimate realtionship. You have set the intentions, done the vision boarding workshops and created rituals and ceremony. Yet, you still seem to be attracting emotionally unavailable people on all levels who really don't seem to be able to connct with you, let alone create the healthy, emotionally fulfilling relationships you are reaching for. To understand why, we need to know what is going on below the surface because there might be a multitude of reasons this is happening. Let's imagine that when you were little you experienced relationships that for whatever reason felt unsafe to you. They might not have been unconditionally loving, you might have experienced times what you felt let down, abandoned, alone and unsafe. You might have taken on the belief that there must be something wrong with you, that you were not worthy of love and care. You might then have made a pact with yourself that close relationships were not a safe place to be and to save yourself from heartache you would steer clear. On one hand you now want these things desperately at a conscious level. On the subconscious level (remember this is where you are manifesting from) you are sending a signal that you don't even know about which is pushing these things away. We can apply this theory to absolutley anything; your family relationships, job, business, money, the list goes on. If you have subconscious limiting beliefs about any of these things, your ability to manifest them is going to be limited.

Again, contrary to what most LOA teachers will tell you, it is not your desperate desire that is preventing it from coming; it is not the days you feel sad and unhappy and then beat yourself up for not thinking positively that means it is not coming, these things are so normal and so human and we aren't meant to stop ourselves feeling. It's not even that you were not able to detach and let go of your desires enough. It is simply that you are not asking for the same things both consciously and energetically and that what is happening on the unconscious energetic level is sending out the stronger signal. We might call this energetic dissonance and for the most part it is not conscious and it's not your fault. Nor are you deserving of the things that might happen as a result of it, though they may be exactly what you need in order to recognise, move though and release some trauma, if you are willing. The thing that I dislike about most of the LOA teaching out there is that there is there is the unspoken allusion that this might just be your fault for not being positive or "high vibe" enough, that you have slipped too far down the evolutionary emotional scale. If you had done it better, visioned stronger, caught the negative thoughts earlier, you would not have manifested this crappy situation. Of course no one tells you this directly but it's easy to feel the judgement and the sense of failure at times. In reality this is not very far short of victim shaming someone for their past experiences and truama.

We all carry trauma. It is a part of being human. It is wound through our very cells and our DNA, we pick it up as a simple result of living and loving, we bring it with us from other lifetimes, and we create limiting patterns and behaviours from it with the intention of staying safe and small, even if what results from those limiting patterns and behaviours feels nothing like fun or safe. This is why trauma work is central to what I do, because for myself, learning how to release trauma safely and gently was what began to change my life. I began to realise that working with the LOA is not about casting a net of desires out into the future, it is about getting really present with yourself in the here and now. It is about learning to sit with the emotions that arise and observing the patterns, allowing them to be, turning towards them with a warm curiousity even when it takes all of your courage, and asking them what they are showing you and what wisdom they hold. As you do this, you are allowing the unseen patterns to arise from under the iceberg, as they become visable you can work with them and slowly and gently tend to and release them. It's about having effective practices which help you to release and align on the energetic level.

All of this requires support and time; truly the gaining of this alignment and clarity we could actually call embodiment, and full embodiment is the journey of a lifetime which you are still going to be working on when you're 80! For me, the support for this continuing journey looks like a devoted flower and vibrational essence taking regime because essences work best when you commit to to taking them day in, day out; a support group or two of like minded women who are all on similar journeys, and also energetic trauma release practices such as Soul Transformation Therapy which I subsequently trained in, and which aids in the release of trauma from the physical and energetic level, sometimes without even needing to understand the story of why it is there. Working with rhythms and natural cycles such as the sun and the moon and astrological signs was also key. Ultimately there is no magic bullet (sorry!), true alignment is a deep devotional and spiritual practice that is just waiting for you to step into it, and when you do, the universe steps up to support you every single time.

The takeaway is that the LOA is working perfectly for you right now, you just need to get your conscious and your subconscious desires a little more lined up. If you would like to talk more about any of these modalities and aligning your own energy system then I would be very happy to have a chat with you. You can book a free 20 minute clarity call here . Journeying with women on this path is my absolute passion; it would be lovely to talk to you.